I'll tell you everything I heard
I got it from a little bird
Just promise not to breathe a word
About the things I say

There was a man named Henry Stow
He drove the train, drove very slow
Because he wanted men to know
That HE could spoil their day

There was a man named Billy Stout
He hated sloth and loved to shout
So he began to shout about 
The slothful trains delay


Stout bought a gun and tried to use
It on the slothful train's caboose
Stow had a fit and had to choose
To speed up or to stay


Therefore, the train rolled in on time
And pulled right up, stopped on a dime
And not a single one did mind
That there was no caboose

BUT. this I know and know full well
Across the creek and oer' the dell
A man who's face doth bode unwell
Is surely on the loose!

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