A Fortunate Meeting

Bit 1 in which we become acquainted  

A man was sleeping on a fence,

I asked him how he did.

He rolled half over in his sleep

And open-ed a lid

"I'm feeling fine" he said as if

in answer to my quest,

"but just today I tried some hay

and it was not the best."

I tried to tell my new-found friend

that eating hay was bunk

He haughtily replied to me 

"Now listen here you punk!"

"I eat thumb tacks and drink pig swill 

for breakfast every day,

I do not see how I could not

digest alfalfa hay!"

Bit 2 in which I use my surreptitiousness to change the subject

I asked "What ever do you do

when needing exercise?"

He said "I've lost a thousand pounds

 By telling awful lies."

"Before that time you must have been 

fan-tas-ti-cal-y fat!"

He nodded twice in his reply

and said "I was at that."

Bit 3 I rearrange the flora of my yard

We left on amiable terms,

and not quite enemies.

But just a soon as I got home

I rooted up my trees.

Oh the intrigue!

My nanny don't have anything

to give the screaming brat

so by and by as time goes on

I feed him this and that

A piece of twine full three feet long 

goes down without complaint

but when I try to give him more

it's plain to see he shaint'

Egg shells and apple cores go down

with seemingly great zeal

but he's developed aversion to 

a ripe banana peel

My brother is a curious case

for he would like as not

eat straight out of the garbage can

as from the simmering pot

in-saddle musing

These subtle verses were composed 

while riding on a horse

and their uncommon messiness 

doth fill me with remorse

mild weather

As I sat on my front porch a-thinking

as the rain it came down from the sky

and there sat my old dog unblinking

a-wanting my last piece of pie

The rain stopped and so did the thinking

and my dog ate the last piece of pie

now i'll go set the water to boiling 

and make up a mean cup of chai